i clearly remember the day mum kiel and i left. i was sitting at the dining room table in my nighty, sitting listening to them fight... i remember where you were standing, and me not wanting to leave. i have the clearest of clear picture in my head, i was 5.

life once was great and carefree as a kid. forced to move into nans house for a while i'm sure i wasn't the happiest of kids. the day we came and got all of our belongings from the house you locked me out and wouldnt let me in, heartbreaking. Everything we owned chuckd recklessly on the back veranda for us to pick up. i remember wanting to take the fish tank and my evil aunty throwing crude words at my mum and threatening to call the cops. How can people who once shared such love have so much hate for eachother?..who produced human life together. Atleast put on a happy face infront of me. For years i listened to each of them bad mouth each other, it broke my heart and in defence i stood up for both of them yelling back at what bad things they would say about one and another. Even adults can be immature and bitchy. Living life as a teenager, mums gone her own way and im usually home alone while she spends time with her partner, dads got a partner too. they live together. i dont hate i because im so use to it, but i dont love it either, i wish everything was simple, i wish i could have better relationships with them both, who i love to death.

my father is one of the funniest characters, always pulling dad jokes and being silly. never ever do i fight with him. always happy to see me and always has smartass remarks for when im coming to see him next, he's up with the teenage lingo, chats to me on facebook, always offers me goon sacks and teases me about when i got taken home by the cops when i was 15 (he was furious!) boy do i love him!
And my mumma, since my brother moved out we have definatly gotten closer, your so fun, when i play music you dance, you do anything to make my life great, gets on the internet first so she can buy me festival tickets so i dont miss out, organises transport and everything else. sometimes thinks shes my age and wants to be bestfriends with my friends. i feel safe when she is around because i know she'd do anything to protect me. cannot wait untill im legal to go out, i know for a fact she'd be so much fun on the dancefloor and she'd definatly out dance me!
eternal love for you both.

oh so pretty, right?

did you dream last night?

'naaaaa! oh wait, yes i did. i dreamt that tegan was driving, now that was weird!'

my hands may look awkward/retarded,

BUT I SURE DO RATE THIS SPAGHETTI! thumbs up for heinz!

grab it outta the cupboard, open and eat!

fa'eva

we fight through messages because when we are around each other there isn't a problem in the world, apart from your crazy little outbursts at work when i don't let you go early. we get along great every other time, never once have we not spoken everyday. you're a stubborn person, its in your personality, you say things and when i bring it up you claim you never said it. your way or the highway baby. you pretty much get everything/do everything you want, nothing gets in your way which is a good thing for you but when it comes to our friendship i don't like arguing who is correct because im always thinking in the back of my brain that i never want to lose you as a bestfriend. i dont think id ever get sick of you, and i dont think you could really get sick of me? hence the reason you're still hanging around. we spend days on end together and most of the time we do absolutely nothing, but never get bored of eachother, never argue or fight. i like it like that. its good when you message me and tell me every little thing you do when im not around. people ask if we are sisters because we both have our nose pierced and we usually laugh in their face, you may not be my blood sister but your the closest thing to a sister i could ever imagine of having in my life. people at work can tell we share a close bond without knowing we are bestfriends. my mum, nan, aunty, counsins and brother treat you like family because you practically are. we are born one day apart meaning our parents did it at the same time LOL dirty. maybe because we were born less than 24 hours apart, is why we are so close. i hope our friendship lasts a lifetime.

tits?

seriously

band sluts/fan girls are not cool, going to every hardcore show in your state is not cool, listing bands and how many times you've seen them on internet websites is not cool, girls pretending they're a cat and drawing whiskers on their face is not cool, underage club go-ers are not cool, you are probably not cool,smoking to look cool is not cool,getting fucked up every weekend to the point you cant remember your night is not cool (actually no point, where are the memories? wasted away with drugs/alcohol...), alliration myspace names are not cool.
or maybe im just not cool?

gothic, to emo, to 'scene' to m3t4l and not its getting to the point that is is so so cool and individual to be indie, op shop 4 lyf, claiming you listened to a so called 'indie' band doesnt make you cool. 'im so indie, been listening to the kooks for 3 days straight' (FUCKING QUOTED<) AND SO FUCKING GAY! becoming a lot more popular to be a vegeterian,vegan and straight edge these days too. 14 year olds smoking weed is cool? you should be at home playing twister with your family! apprently if you own a digital camera your a photographer, i just dont get it.

the world is full of followers, sweaters, sheep, people aspiring to be someone they are not, and never will be, just because its 'in' and 'cool'. people should accept you for who you are as a person.
be yourself, do what you want, its unnapealing to be fake,
wakkkkke up!

monster children

"everyones a photographer these days..."
how often have you heard that lately?
its a digital age for a digital page. log on, blog on, dog eat dog on. is a planet of photography.

if its so available, so common, apparently 'so easy', does that mean everyone can be good at it?
do good tools make good work, or is it the eye behind the mind that is really speaking through the picture in front of us,
what are you saying?
did you say it first?
are you saying what someone else has already said before in a new way?
are you saying the same old shit as everyone else?
or are you saying nothing? just watching everything go around and around?
when you go to places no one has seen, it opens your eyes.
when you open your eyes to places that people always go, you see a place that is always there but its new again.
when you stare at the computer all day, what does it really do you for you?

on repeat

my girls, my life? you could probably say that hey, they're the only girls i can be around 24/7 and not get annoyed or bored with. jackies laying on my couch listening to the most fucked up music and im still not annoyed " all you need is love do do do dooooo" good song aye. our weekends consist of getting all dressed up and ready to go out, going up the road, sneerging and then coming home, why are we so fun? i dont actually know myself so i wont get angry when you cant answer that question for yourself.

'soooo ladies, what are you getting upto tomorrow?'
"sleepin"...........'yeah, just sleepin' no one should underestimate how fun we are!
we get pictures with spirits because we are fun girls, go for walks through bushes, hang out in tunnels and wear the same shoes, what more could ya want boys? ! ~tripod~

new post!

"i think its time for the toilet"

says my brother, kiel. (kyle, for all you dickheads) he's home for five weeks. i will have to adapt to hearing his voice everyday.

im not use to living with two other people. mamas always at her boyfriends and brothers at uni.
i feel kind of uncomfortable sharing everything again. not that they are strangers. though im not use to them being here...at all

on the upside, hanging with my brother is pretty sweet. he has lovely tunes on his ipod and he lets me use his laptop and kinda keeps me company at night.
no more girls night of the weekends running a muck through the house with tripod. kiel will always be here to crash it, for the next 5 weeks anyways.

'I am empty, seedy, immoral, disrespectful, heartbroken, i am the product of miscommunication. i am flawed, obtrusive, unstructured, jealous, vindictive, i am the salvation of selfishness. i am somewhat bipolar, i cuddle with heart, i am the reason you left from the start. i am unreligious, i drink, i smoke substance and substances. I ride trains just to watch others, and feel somewhat normal. I am two shadows. I am every spelling and punctuation mistake here. i see a thousand lies and truths every time i blink and open my eyes. i am warm. i turn heads and twist minds, i'll make you love me. I'll steal you roses. i get attached, i cant look away without wanting to hold you. i am a waste of paint, i am knowing, and unknown, i am how you see me, how you feel me, how you forget me. i am the colour of your eyes, the reason you cried, the reason your filled with despise. i am the freedom you crave, the love letter you gave, your tears when i went away. I'm a picture in painting, The static in silence, the truth in your lies, the heartbeat of your broken heart and the lack of trust in your judgement. you wont ever find anyone else like me, i am your one dying wish. i make mistakes, and suffer for them. i am the future, the past and everything in between. i am a perfect mess. i am the reason you didnt stay and the reason you didnt kiss me goodbye'

sorry, but i dont think you noticed my fingers crossed as we pinky promised...

forever

Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends.

flyin' funz

the feeling was unexplainable. this had to be the happiest ive ever been, ever. nothing could make me more happy. sitting on the veranda and every breath in i took of the happiness made me love life ten times more.
spidey man was a disappointment. he was pretty and looked fancy but he didn't fulfill our high expectations. think we"ll stick to the home made job.
after being on the veranda, we ventured into the lounge room, nothing could stop us now. the flash went off a thousand times and what we got was nothing more then a few trashy looks. the bright yellow light fifty meters up the road was calling. we strolled out the front and up the road, the gate was open! twenty less steps we had to take, we were ecstatic! this made our night so much better. into the servo we went, it was like we were on a scavenger hunt ramaging through the iles picking up anything we wanted, which ended up being every second thing on the shelf. with less money on our pockets and a bag full of food in our hands, we trotted off home carrying huge smiles across our faces. as we sit on the bed like sloths, we play our special music that is wonders to our ears. drum beats seemed amazing. we chowed down all the food we bought and danced to the music. we dont care what you think of us.

"OI ANGUS MATE, HERES SOME PERSONALITY FOR YA"

uncontrollable laughter filled the room for hours, this was nothing more then a normal night for tripod.

fuckoff

my eyes are so tired, not sleeping was a horrible idea.
i should maybe go to bed, but why bother when i could sit on this chair all night? seeing as though i dont have an early start tomorrow, i could dream all day if i wanted too.
i should be out doing something, but everyones pretty shit minus my tripod girls.
no one sticks around, seems as though there are much better people out there and everyone moves on in a few months.
fuck yaz all. im starting to convince myself that theres hardly any geniune people around anymore, all anyone cares about are theirselves, being number one, and making everyone unhappy around them. no one wants more then a small bunch of bestfriends. you all come and go, like the weather and its bad days. come and fucking go..
fuck i am hating so hard on everyone right now.
i only trust a few people, and i think i shouldnt open myself upto people i hardly know like i usually do. we could talk on msn for 5 minutes and you would know everything about me. i am fucked. dont fuck me around, im vulnerable and i dont need to hate on anymore fucking people then i already do.
fuck off :D

toys

tripod night in had begun.
gina casually walked up my stairs, on her way having a little chat to my mom,
mostly about how disgusting she though she looked at the time.
mom complimented her ofcourse while gina stood there putting herself down.
GINAYABEAUTIFUL!
she rushed into my room, i shut the door where jackie sat on the bed and i stood awkwardly.
gina then pulls out of her 'chili' bag she got from the easter show a long cardboard thing, inside a pink floppy brand new dildo she bought that day......(LOL)......this is where all the laughing begin as we played around with it laughing our faces off as she hit herself in the head. continuous laughing went on for a while untill we finally got over the fact that it was a pink floppy dildo. and it wasnt really ment to be a comedy show and to hit people in the head with, so i hid it for a while under a pile of clothes in my room.
theres not really a point in this post, along with all my other ones infact. though the night turned out to be pretty funny resulting in us getting chased up the road by a car with a loud speaker, jackie running as fast as she could back to my safe house, gina being a pineapple head and myself choking on strawberry milk.

i love tripod.

my chair

im sitting on my chair, its getting pretty famous over the net.
i tell everyone about my chair, its my chair, i sit on it very often and its wooden and has a little dip where everyones butt goes.......
mainly my butt actually.
jackies on her way over, shes cold. i was just informed
OoOoOoOo p00r j4ck!e

obviously im a sarcastic bitch, im cruel.
i love you jackie.....
tonight will be shit, its 7.53, and i have absolutely no idea what we plan on doing. hopefully gina comes over later

"nothing makes me more happy then to see my friends happy"
what a doll.