i clearly remember the day mum kiel and i left. i was sitting at the dining room table in my nighty, sitting listening to them fight... i remember where you were standing, and me not wanting to leave. i have the clearest of clear picture in my head, i was 5.

life once was great and carefree as a kid. forced to move into nans house for a while i'm sure i wasn't the happiest of kids. the day we came and got all of our belongings from the house you locked me out and wouldnt let me in, heartbreaking. Everything we owned chuckd recklessly on the back veranda for us to pick up. i remember wanting to take the fish tank and my evil aunty throwing crude words at my mum and threatening to call the cops. How can people who once shared such love have so much hate for eachother?..who produced human life together. Atleast put on a happy face infront of me. For years i listened to each of them bad mouth each other, it broke my heart and in defence i stood up for both of them yelling back at what bad things they would say about one and another. Even adults can be immature and bitchy. Living life as a teenager, mums gone her own way and im usually home alone while she spends time with her partner, dads got a partner too. they live together. i dont hate i because im so use to it, but i dont love it either, i wish everything was simple, i wish i could have better relationships with them both, who i love to death.

my father is one of the funniest characters, always pulling dad jokes and being silly. never ever do i fight with him. always happy to see me and always has smartass remarks for when im coming to see him next, he's up with the teenage lingo, chats to me on facebook, always offers me goon sacks and teases me about when i got taken home by the cops when i was 15 (he was furious!) boy do i love him!
And my mumma, since my brother moved out we have definatly gotten closer, your so fun, when i play music you dance, you do anything to make my life great, gets on the internet first so she can buy me festival tickets so i dont miss out, organises transport and everything else. sometimes thinks shes my age and wants to be bestfriends with my friends. i feel safe when she is around because i know she'd do anything to protect me. cannot wait untill im legal to go out, i know for a fact she'd be so much fun on the dancefloor and she'd definatly out dance me!
eternal love for you both.

oh so pretty, right?

did you dream last night?

'naaaaa! oh wait, yes i did. i dreamt that tegan was driving, now that was weird!'

my hands may look awkward/retarded,

BUT I SURE DO RATE THIS SPAGHETTI! thumbs up for heinz!

grab it outta the cupboard, open and eat!

fa'eva

we fight through messages because when we are around each other there isn't a problem in the world, apart from your crazy little outbursts at work when i don't let you go early. we get along great every other time, never once have we not spoken everyday. you're a stubborn person, its in your personality, you say things and when i bring it up you claim you never said it. your way or the highway baby. you pretty much get everything/do everything you want, nothing gets in your way which is a good thing for you but when it comes to our friendship i don't like arguing who is correct because im always thinking in the back of my brain that i never want to lose you as a bestfriend. i dont think id ever get sick of you, and i dont think you could really get sick of me? hence the reason you're still hanging around. we spend days on end together and most of the time we do absolutely nothing, but never get bored of eachother, never argue or fight. i like it like that. its good when you message me and tell me every little thing you do when im not around. people ask if we are sisters because we both have our nose pierced and we usually laugh in their face, you may not be my blood sister but your the closest thing to a sister i could ever imagine of having in my life. people at work can tell we share a close bond without knowing we are bestfriends. my mum, nan, aunty, counsins and brother treat you like family because you practically are. we are born one day apart meaning our parents did it at the same time LOL dirty. maybe because we were born less than 24 hours apart, is why we are so close. i hope our friendship lasts a lifetime.

tits?

seriously

band sluts/fan girls are not cool, going to every hardcore show in your state is not cool, listing bands and how many times you've seen them on internet websites is not cool, girls pretending they're a cat and drawing whiskers on their face is not cool, underage club go-ers are not cool, you are probably not cool,smoking to look cool is not cool,getting fucked up every weekend to the point you cant remember your night is not cool (actually no point, where are the memories? wasted away with drugs/alcohol...), alliration myspace names are not cool.
or maybe im just not cool?

gothic, to emo, to 'scene' to m3t4l and not its getting to the point that is is so so cool and individual to be indie, op shop 4 lyf, claiming you listened to a so called 'indie' band doesnt make you cool. 'im so indie, been listening to the kooks for 3 days straight' (FUCKING QUOTED<) AND SO FUCKING GAY! becoming a lot more popular to be a vegeterian,vegan and straight edge these days too. 14 year olds smoking weed is cool? you should be at home playing twister with your family! apprently if you own a digital camera your a photographer, i just dont get it.

the world is full of followers, sweaters, sheep, people aspiring to be someone they are not, and never will be, just because its 'in' and 'cool'. people should accept you for who you are as a person.
be yourself, do what you want, its unnapealing to be fake,
wakkkkke up!